Ask only once the bus enforces the controller's own grant, judged for real and failing closed (review of hq issue 353)

change held asking back, a list sent was taken for a list the bus enforces, a plan that could not be
worked out read as not behind, and no test held the real judgement. Now the asker asks only when the
composition grants the controller itself to publish its ask, and the bus's own module says that grant
is in force on the running server (nats_user_can's in_force, mesh-catalog); each fact not known is not
held, said with why. brokerBehind takes a list nobody could compose as behind.

cmd/mesh-controller/proposals.go

@@ -591,7 +591,7 @@ func proposeCommand(ctx context.Context, module, node, valuesArg string, clear,
 			return err
 		},
 		routerHere: routerHereIn(open.inventory),
-		grantHeld:  grantHeldIn(open),
+		grantHeld:  grantHeldIn(open, conn),
 		routerRecord: func(ctx context.Context, id string) (string, error) {
 			bucket, err := asksRecords(ctx, open.inventory)
 			if err != nil || bucket == "" {